Tonight we got a call from our very disturbed daughter Nechonah (12 years old). She had run away with her friend – also a foster daughter – from her foster family. They both couldn’t endure any longer.
Like a waterfall Nechonah told us everything on the phone. For weeks now she had been screamed at with increasing frequency by the foster mother. She wasn’t able to please her in anything any more. She was often accused, quite unexpectedly, of having done something wrong.
Our children are abused in foster care!
Her letters were read. She had to secretly write letters and secretly read her Bible. Other reading material that was related to her beliefs, she could not read. It was not allowed to call the youth office, she could have no contact with her old friends.
Once the woman’s daughter had pushed and struck her and the mother did not do anything.
Later, she was ridiculed before her friends because of it. She had to clean a lot without the foster mother acknowledging it. She felt like a slave in the family.
Her brother Reah (age 8) was excluded increasingly in school. A few days ago, on the way back from gym classes, a whole clique of classmates forced him to smoke a cigarette. He tried to resist, but the boys have beaten and mocked him.
The family had received a lot of money to take care of the foster children, but Nechonah said that they have hardly taken care of their needs, but they made use of the money to pay off their house.
Since the removal of the 5 September, we had very little contact with our children. We wanted to know how they are doing and where they are. Often times we addressed the Jugendamt (youth welfare office) about it, but always we were rejected.
After 6 weeks, we have seen our children again for the first time. Reah said several times said that he wants to tell us something personal, but he was afraid. All telephone contacts took place under the supervision and so also this visit. He did not feel free to express himself.
Also in the next telephone contact he wanted to tell us something personal, but he told me again: “Someone is listening!”
Nechonah wrote in her letters that she could read in the Bible only in secret and could not speak freely about her faith. Once she secretly wrote a letter to her friend. It seemed strange to us and we got the impression that it was not going well for our children.
During this time the foster mother began often to complain about us. We should not influence our children. I did not know what she meant by that, because we hardly had contact with them. We were very worried. We still did not feel heard by Jugendamt.
Then we set out to visit Nechonah at her school. We wanted to find out what’s wrong with her. This was thwarted. One minute after we had met Nechonah, the foster mother came already. She wanted to pick up Nechonah. In this one-minute our daughter told again that she is not free.
We gave her a cell phone so she could tell us everything in peace later. The foster mother was very agitated.
Our children get herpes in foster care!
Next visit we were very shocked about the health of our children. Reah, our son had a severe rash and herpes and Nechonah also had a few spots on the face, which were infected with herpes. She had to even scarlet fever and glandular fever.
At the end of our visit, as we were returning Nechonah to the foster mother, Nechonah complained that she was once forced to eat liver, which, according to our tradition, is not food. The foster mother then exploded and yelled at Nechonah that she should not lie so outrageously. We tried to calm down the foster mother. We thought that it’s just a misunderstanding.By now it was found out that she really had tried to force Nechonah.
Two days later, the Jugendamt brought our son Reah suddenly to another foster family. He could not say goodbye to his sister. No one had warned him. He spent several days in a state of shock. Now he has calmed down slowly.
Before this – before foster care – our children had been free, secure and happy. Who will now take responsibility for these abuses? Tomorrow we go to Judge R. to bring all these things to light.
Will she listen to us?
Nechonah was not removed from foster care by the judge, but placed in another family. See “The great struggle inside her,” for more on that.
We fled German society hoping to avoid the very things for our children that the State and the Jugendamt are now inflicting upon them. Is there no freedom of religion in Germany? Does no one understand parents’ love for their children?
Read about the Pfeiffer family.
In happier days…